Daniel P. Barron

How do you become married according to the Bible?

May 27, 2019

StreamPirate: How do you become married according to the Bible? I've read about it, and most people say something about the man leaving his mom and dad and joining a girl and two flesh becoming one and a covenant, but it does not really explain anything. Some people say when you have sex with someone you are married. Some people simply say a man and a woman is marriage. My questions are what does it mean to literally leave your mom and dad to go to a woman, do all girlfriends/boyfriends technically count as wives/husbands and breaking up would count as divorce, and what is considered divorce according to the Bible?

Daniel: Doesn't have to be public. Doesn't have to be licensed. Doesn't have to be a ceremony or party. Just be married in your heart, and it is so. I have said in the past that "sex is marriage," but such a statement is not entirely true. It depends on the intent of the heart. If the intention is not to marry, then sex is harlotry. Girlfriends/boyfriends only count as married if that is their intention. Otherwise they are harlots. And yes, it would be divorce if they saw themselves as married and then separated. Divorce is when a husband and wife become separated. (Matthew 19:6i)

StreamPirate: I looked it up and it refers to harlots as prostitutes. I am confused and could use some elaboration. Is it a sin to have a boyfriend or girlfriend or have one without intent to marry or what?

Daniel: Yes, harlots are prostitutes. And yes, it's a sin to have sex with someone who you do not consider to be your spouse. Even if they are your boyfriend/girlfriend, you are engaging in prostitution by not being married in your hearts.

Darwin: A good passage to add to that discussion would be Deuteronomy 22:

13 “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, 14 and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,’ 15 then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16 And the young woman’s father shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man as wife, and he detests her. 17 Now he has charged her with shameful conduct, saying, “I found your daughter was not a virgin,” and yet these are the evidences of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18 Then the elders of that city shall take that man and punish him; 19 and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name on a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days.

20 “But if the thing is true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, 21 then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you.

  1. Matthew 19:
    6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

One Response

  1. [...] and smoking cannabis are not condemned by Scripture. And sex is only wrong to do if it's outside of marriage or with someone of the same sex. I don’t know how to make friends in high school or deal with all [...]

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