Daniel P. Barron

I am bitter and jaded.

Sunday, November 29, 2020 

I am bitter and jaded. I take comfort in failure. I like to feel sorry for myself.

I am jealous when other men are loved by women, even to the point of hating a brother in Christ.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment... i

I have not been content in being single. I desire to look at evil things. I have indulged in this desire.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. ii

I want to be cleansed. That is why I make this confession. I fear judgment, stupidly. Nobody is after me, and I want to run. Or stay silent, anyway.

It gives me great anxiety to prepare these thoughts, let alone to write them and to say them out loud. But ultimately, I fear God more.

Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. iii

You all do not even seek to kill me, and yet I dread doing this thing.

“Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. iv

Are my brethren not men? And is silence not a denial?

  1. Matthew 5:21-22, bold added. ^
  2. 1 John 1:8-10, bold added. ^
  3. Matthew 10:27-28, bold added. ^
  4. Matthew 10:32-33 ^

8 Responses

  1. Ishtar's Acolyte (Aaron)

    Maybe you just need to get out a little more. Then you might meet somebody and won't be single any longer.

  2. This was a confession of sins, and not a request for ideas on how to mitigate them. I already know that the solution is to fear God. Whenever we sin, it is because, at least for that moment, we weren't fearing God.

  3. Thank you for the helpful tips! I would never have gotten this on my own! Is it alright to reference part of this on my website basically include a backlink to this webpage?

  4. Yes, anyone is welcome to quote and mirror my articles.

  5. Jesus

    Therapists/counselors train and dedicate their lives to helping people going through similar issues. I've only gone through this site a little but I'm well aware my comment is very out of place. Still, if it gives you even the slightest help/reassurance/I don't even know, I want to let you know that you'll be okay, these feelings are temporary, and you should talk it out with people, not harbor it in fear

  6. Okay. Thank you, Jesus.

  7. Divine Bellydancer Amari Aaron

    Aww. I get it can be lonely without a partner. Maybe you just need to find a good circle of friends that can help you meet someone? It is not easy to make friends these days because of how isolated and online we all are but it is possible. You just need to find a group that centres around a hobby you like.

  8. I have a good circle of friends who all believe the Bible.

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