Daniel P. Barron

On The Beating of Wives

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

This article no longer represents my views and I am ashamed to have ever written it. I have removed it from appearing oh my home page, but it can still be retrieved via external links that I have no control over. The reason for this is because it still exists on archive websites, and I would rather it be viewed with this disclaimer.

Edit: It is not good for a man to beat his wife; such actions are not consistent with living a Christian lifestyle in which one must treat others as he would like to be treated. Furthermore, the practice of BDSM is of dubious merit.

Me: 90% of men wouldn’t know what to do with a wife; it’s the way kids are raised to never hit a woman, which really just translates to: do whatever women say. The state ends up becoming the husband, as it’s the one administering the beatings.
Her: Disagree. A man worthy of a wife should inspire submission with his presence, meaning, if he has good character/morals, the woman will want to submit. If he has to beat the submission into her, than he’s been doing something wrong that has made her lose respect for him

Me: After reading thati again, particularly the section on wives, I’ve realized I need to repent of my belief that husbands should beat wives. Darwin points out that a husband should not even fight back if a wife is abusive. If that is the case, I cannot imagine any other appropriate time to strike. I have to admit at this point that Mircea has indeed rubbed off on me a little too much, and I’m embarrassed to have been so outspoken on a Biblically unsound notion. Your explanation, about the worthy husband inspiring submission, is the more Biblically sound position.

A week later, it’s like he read my mind: out comes an article on beatings.

Intimacy is built on the twin pillars of ******* and beating. Their exact disposition will depend on the people involved, of course, but what people like to say or pretend to believe on the topic has little bearing.

This isn’t to say unwelcome, wrong beating doesn’t exist. It’s called battery. Unwelcome, wrong ******* also exists – it’s called rape. They go together.

I’m without the personal experienceii to confirm or deny whether beatings are a necessary component of an intimate relationship, but Mircea probably has a better grasp of the subject. The “welcome beating” he describes doesn’t conflict with Darwin’s advice for Christian husbands.

1 Peter 2:18-21 tells slaves to submit, even in the case of being beaten (1 Peter 2:20). Then 1 Peter 3:1 tells wives to submit in like manner. Then He tells the husbands to live “likewise.” If a man were to have such an abusive wife, he could live out Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:39.

I guess Darwin isn’t into BDSM,iii because he’s only citing these verses in reference to some sort of abuse. The Bible could also be describing a voluntary sub/dom relationship: one in which the wife is delighted to take a playful or corrective beating from her “worthy husband” who has inspired this submission. The Bible doesn’t explicitly require any beatings, but it doesn’t explicitly forbid them either. It even seems to promote the sort of master/slave (with beatings) relationship prescribed by Mircea.

1 Peter 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

A “Holy woman” not only calls her husband lord,iv but she thankfullyv takes the abuse of an “unwelcome beating” in the hopes of inspiring the man to “won by her conduct.”

1 Peter 3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

This is good advice to give daughters should they ever become taken with passionvi or force,vii and end up unequally yoked.viii But a godly husband should be capable of dominating his wife in accordance with achieving greater mutual understanding of one another, and a respectful beating is the physical manifestation of her subservient role.

  1. Scriptural View of Men, Darwin Fish.
  2. Although every intimate relationship I’ve had so far has been without beatings, and they sucked.
  3. bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism
  4. or master, or what have you.

  5. Ephesians 5:20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.


  6. 1 Corinthians 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


  7. Deuteronomy 22:28 “If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out, 29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days.


  8. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

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