Counseling didn't quite work. Books helped some. Then the Lord sent a marriage class into our life. The insight was stunning.
It boiled down to this. The invisible barrier between our hearts included two parts: my husband's unwillingness to talk freely with me and my unwillingness to have sex with him.
God's design of our complementary natures is amazing! Males and females have differences far below the surface of our genitals. Our brains and bodies biochemically crave and function differently. The complementary cravings of husband and wife work together to fill in each other's weak spots. A low libido wife doesn't crave sexual intimacy. However, it is most excellent for her physical, emotional and, yes even spiritual health. A husband might not crave emotional intimacy through conversation. However, it promotes health for him, too. Knowing my husband's key to emotional intimacy was sex and that sex is really good for both of us, I had some work to do. I had to figure out the trick to convincing myself to engage in sex while not having much of a sex drive.
Choose not to judge or be offended.
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